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Marzian Lore
In the beginning, the solar system, Sol, was alright. Dwayne Johnson first created Humans by accident on Earth, so he tried again and made Hoomans. Unfortunately, Humans were like a cancer and were quick to spread, making decent people hard to come by. Trying to fix Humanity, he sent down Jesus, but the bearded man hit his head on the way down so he became realyl freaking stupid and made a horrible cute. Dwayne, displeased with his mistake, later sent down The Rock, who instantly became the President of America (forever), finally allowing the public to be happy. Meanwhile, Dwayne remained on the red Mars, loving the cold weather and miles of brown; he later made friends with the numerous Earth rovers. Russians and Canada, with their own space programmes, launched missions to make labs on Phobos and Deimos, the two moons; they both had many animals on those labs which became loose after the two moons crashed down to Mars. The impact of Phobos and Deimos split apart Mars into two equal halves and then cobined in the middle to make Dwaymos, his magical palace moon thing. Mars was devastated from the impact, killing all microbes in the soil; in order to make life easier for the animals that survived the impact, Dwayne started taming the sands of Mars to begin growing grass, egged on by the poop from himself to fertilize the soil and the ammonia in pee from the accidental John Dwaynson to spur further growth. Over time, the animals started their own cultures as they evolved into human-like shapes and sizes, the Kannadian half becoming a home to many mammals while the Rossiyan half was home to many insects. They learned from the leftovers of their labs many points of culture and logistics, helping them to build colonies from the ground up. As the terraforming of Mars was occurring, Scottish operations on reptiles ceased on Europa, Jupiter's Galilean moon, in the middle of similar terraforming operations, all because of a misunderstanding in transmissions due to a misplaced haggis and their comms relay. The amount of imported pine trees and bottles of whiskey and bourbon gave rise to their combination, forming rocket trees; the reptiles soon evolved into dragons and made their home on the melted Europa quite comfy; the wetness and warmth made the rocky terrain similar to Scotland. After the moon became crowded, a great amount of the population set out on rocket trees to explore, bringing them to the Rossiyan Highlands to make their home at; the Rossiyan Highlands are bits of rock and debris left over from the Phobos-Deimos collission event. As a side note, the other Galilean moon, Io, was inhabited by desert-acclimated cowboys--an endangered species on Earth. With their affinity for sand, deserts, and sandstone, cowboys thrived and made Io into West Jupiter Marz, unruly and not very-well governed, was taken under the helm of Dwayne Johnson himself, writing the Constipation to bind the half leaders of Marz to respectful and reasonable laws. Under the guidance and protection of Dwayne, Marz became a leader in Sol, eventually developing antigravity tech which helped the dragons of the Rossiyan Highlands better get around their rocks and create more efficient farming tools. Venus became a different story, all of the CO2 making it a greenhouse (despite not being green at all). Dwayne, acting like a custodian for Sol, decided to take it upon himself to remove some of the CO2 and allocate it to Mars in order for the grass to begin producing oxygen; the result was a Venus with a less oppressive atmosphere, allowing the Chinese to colonize it; their affinity for smog allowed them to be be comfortable on the warm, nearly-tropical planet; sulfuric acid was filtered out easily with their technology. However, the Chinese soon had to cease operations on the planet due to needing to focus on internal affairs; the plants left behind from the terraces and buildings that they inhabited were left to overgrow and cover the entire planet, creating an oxygen-rich atmosphere; surplus CO2 still allowed the heat, however, making the planet quite dry. As a result, the plants refrained from becoming cactus-like and instead became motile, slowly growing methods of movement and sensing in order to better find water. Using resources left by the Chinese's sudden departure, they eventually built their own efficient culture, their buildings becoming a mix of tech and plant-life; unlike their Chinese "parents" they were not wasteful and sensitive to the environment. Using some of the tech from the Chinese, they genetically created lumps of meat, meant to grow and provide easy-to-access meats; this allowed for the Cythian Chinese to offer more to the table in trades with Marz, giving antigravity systems for easy meat-livestock. Category:Lore